I hate to think I’m jumping on the bandwagon of the rest of the world wide web users out there but I felt like I needed to say something about Amy Winehouse.

I’m not sure why.

Don’t get me wrong, I love her music. She was amazingly talented. But there have been plenty of ‘celebrity’ deaths that have been equally tragic. Sudden. Shocking. And I’ve not felt as…weird as I do about Amy.

And I really don’t know why.

I empathise with her family for their pain and loss. I think it’s a shame the music industry has lost a genuine talent who made it on her own and not through the ‘instant fame generators’ that have been popping up on TV.

I am surprised by some people’s lack of compassion. Their judgement. I am equally surprised by the amount of people who have somehow tried to make it all about them. Who never knew her. Who weren’t even particularly fond of her music.

But I legitimately feel sad for Amy.

Sad that her life ended this way. This soon. Too soon. Sad that by all accounts she had been clean for a while and yet everyone was so quick to blame drugs for her death. No official results have been released and there have been no reports of suspicion of drugs and according to all reports no drug paraphernalia was found at the scene.

Sad that she was quite obviously a tormented soul. Sad that the only way she knew how to deal with this sadness was through a self-destructive path of addiction. Sad that her addiction is what she is remembered by, cause of death aside.  Sad that she couldn’t live a happier life, a life that everyone deserves.

Sad that Amy Winehouse became a disease rather than a talent, or better yet a human being.

Drugs scare me.

I’ve smoked pot and that is all. I would never ever even try anything else. I am too scared of what it might do to me. I tend to have an addictive personality. I am too scared of what it might lead to. I’ve had issues with alcohol before and that is enough.

Drugs are bad.

I don’t understand what it is that brings people to even take that first hit. Why aren’t you scared? Why don’t you value yourself enough as you are? I am not judging, I simply want to understand.

I know some girls. SMART girls. FUN girls. BEAUTIFUL girls. RESPONSIBLE girls.

Girls who take drugs.

And I can’t help but feel a little disappointed. Disappointed in them, but disappointed that they feel they need a substance in their body, changing who they are and how they behave.

And yes, alcohol does the same thing. And yes, alcohol can be just as dangerous. But that is a different argument.

Right now, I just feel weird. And sad. For Amy. And I don’t know why I feel like this, this time. I just do. It’s sad. She was young and talented and had such a promising future. The damage drugs do to a life is sad.
I’m sorry Amy.