I realised something very strange about myself today. I think I am more afraid of succeeding than failing. What the?

I thought people were always afraid to try because they were scared they would fail, feel that horrible feeling of rejection.

But today, I was scared of sending out press releases. Not because they might not get picked up. Seriously, what’s the worst that can happen – no one replies to my emails? I know my ego and self-esteem can handle that.

I was armed with what I thought was a pretty great press release (if I do say so myself) and a list of print and tv media contacts. And I’m talking real deal contacts, not just the ‘info’ email addresses that release your email off into the ether, hoping that the right person will see it. These were direct email contacts of editors, producers and reporters.

Thanks to a friend who is a camera man for Channel 9 and the business card of a Channel 10 producer I picked up after I was interviewed for a sub-culture documentary a couple of years ago I had REAL people to talk to. Through a little digging of my own (who says my Journalism major doesn’t come in handy!?) I also had some great print media contacts.

So here I go, putting it out there to the people with the power…right?

But as I had compiled the email and press release, my mouse hovered over the send button and I thought to myself ‘Hmmm, should I send this? What if I’m not ready?’ Ready for what?

My mind started swirling with all the possibilities and to be honest it kinda freaked me out! Isn’t this what I’m trying for? Wouldn’t it be amazing if the release got picked up and the paper wanted to write about me or the tv show wanted to do a story on me? Yes, imagine all the traffic and exposure my blog would get!

But I was still scared. That something might happen. That it might work. And it could be the start of a whole new adventure. So I took a deep breath and pressed send. Now I just have to wait and see what happens.